.Beautiful Disaster.

I don't know if its just me, but i always have this habit of doing a quick evaluation of how i did immediately after an exam paper ends. You'll catch me in a stoney reflective mood after the end of a paper while they spend donkey hours counting scripts...I estimate scores for each section, add them up, see wat possible grade i could likely get, and then from there i could go three ways:

1...control the urge to slap myself for messing up. Re-evaluate wat went wrong, do a list of them mentally, THEN get on wit damn life.

2...feel immediate relief that one paper's down. Expect a totalli average grade, hoping somehow the bell curves tilts in my favour OR freakos dun spoil the market 4 mi.

3...goes into a mode of private exhilaration and self-praise, and try to act normal when all i really wanna do is go up and hug the lecturer n kiss the table for its good fengshui position.

So far...

SC1101E: emotion no. 2
SSa2202: emotion no. 1
PS1101E: (today) somewhere in between 1/2

No emotion 3 sadly...yet i hope...

Today's paper upset me a little because i didn't stick to proper time management, spending tooo much time at the first section n not at the second whose weightage was far more important, hence ==> didn't finish in time.

Instant deduction frm total~

Wat upsetted(?) me even more was that i did the exact same thing for my ss paper. YET it was another lesson i didn't learn...

And then i realised i always fail to learn from mistakes. To site a well-known example, i've been late for examinations ever since my sec sch days... and yet i still have that propensity for being late in uni exams.

Ya i know wat u're thinking. whats my freakin problem? i dunno either. perhaps i always aim to reach on the dot, not giving a few mins of allowance for delays n accidents.

Or maybe to me, the fault of being late always lies wit external factors other than myself.

Somebody ought to shake me out my senses.

And ironically i want it to be my DAD.

My dad seems to be the only person in my entire life who is clear to every obvious flaws i possess and blind to ALL my other positive redeeming traits.

And he ALWAYS make sure i learn my lessons. :

--*BiAnCa*--