.Beautiful Disaster.

I know its been 10 plus days since i last blogged. Somehow the more you withdraw from posting, the more inertia there is to post future posts. Okie thats a hell lot of the word 'post' in one sentence.

But now here's an entry. Cos there's loads i hafta put down in words, before these thoughts fade away from ailing memory.

Officially back from arts camp 2005. 5d4n of endless fun, euphoria and exhilarating moments. To think tat at the beginning of it all, i was feeling apprehensive and insecure of my own capabilities in being a councillor. In fact just the night b4 the first day when we slept over at the USP's clubroom(and ended up w/o sufficient sleep), i lapsed into my occasional moods of low esteem and anti-social behaviour. I dreaded the pressure of trying to constantly appear enthusiastic n welcoming, when all i badly needed was sleep.

Fast forward to Day 1. My freshies(my og name's Saada) seemed more expectant n hopeful than awkward with each other. That was good. Campus tour games more or less eased the tension between themselves, and me n them. Everything made me think back of last year's camp, cos everything seemed so similar, and i tried to think of myself in their shoes, and tried to connect myself to how they were feeling.

One particular guy in my og ended up becoming the centre of gossip later on, when he tried to hit on every gal in our grp, starting unfortunately with me as first victim. As to wat exactly happened, i guess it is a secret between me n fellow Saada-kos eh?

Day 2. Also the day i got to know the freshies better. It was truly amazing the speed they bonded with one another. And i guessed as a councillor, watching the new friendships being formed, joining in the fun chatter and games is a truly rewarding experience. I remembered SRC pool games, which i badly wanted to join in but couldn't cos i didn't have my swimming suit with me. No feast for the eyes there either...No hunks, no babes. Just stick figurines with boobies, or short pumpkins with overspilling boobies. Or guys with C cup boobies n goofy faces, or generally guys who loooked hillarious in their itsy-bitsy trunks. =D

Okie i am a meanie. But hey, skyhigh compliments are meant for the likes of nicole kidman, brad pitt & carmen electra anywayz...

Then after that i left to prepare for my fright night station at archi stairway. I gotta admit i hardly enjoyed it compared to the pre-camp becos:

1) i was practically in walking zombie mode
2) my partner was highly over-acting n thus irritating (go ask june! if u think i'm exaggerating)
3) i was donning a very itchy black cloth robe which made me terribly hot n unpleasant
4) freshies DIDN"T scream their heads off when i slammed the door! which was suppose to be the ultimate fright factor!
5) idiotic freshies that kept banging on the door of my toilet cubicle to demand a clue whichi kept screaming wasn't with me~
6) long periods of waiting in between for each wave of freshies to come~
7) a terribly wet, smelly, leaking toilet that soaked me knees down n made me reek like a decomposed corpse (to act the part i know)
8) i had powdered my face extremely white n used brown eyeshadow to create dark eye rings, & Daniel Lim! upon seeing the end-result, commented why i hadn't put on any make-up... -_-'"
9) Freshies who did not seem the slightest scared at our toilet scene banged my cubicle doorwith all the might they could gather till it semi-collapsed, foiling my cover, and making me extremely pissed off, thereby screaming my lungs out at them: "GET OUT!!!!"
10) me getting my face nearly slammed from all the door banging n pushing.

Being a ghost is no easy business.

Day 3. Sentosa Day! The bestest day of all in my opinion~ My og had loads of fun collecting oracles n pills, inventing cheers, songs n perfecting their pyramid. And the scenery was lovely at palawan beach. The games were fun, not to mention the highlight of them all...the Gladiator. Water bombs hurt like mad, but we idiots still play cos apparently we like inflicting pain on one another. But nevertheless it was fun to watch, cos ppl kept flouting the rules n slamming each other' faces... After that the Saada gals went down to frolick in the waters. That part was the moment i felt i truly bacame their best friend. The smiles we shared, the gossips, the circle of trust we created, the feeling of just wanting to be in tat picteresque setting n steal that moment forever... priceless... Then in the evening, speed dating at the towers at the other end of the bridge. The setting was romantic, the night air cold n fresh, and everything just seemed serene n magical. I was with xiaofen, xuzi, sining n we were just watching the freshies interact with one another. It was fun to be eavesdropping, and then being amazed at just how simple sparks could fly, friendships could just blossom, and love could just start, all with the initiation of a laugh, a gentle compliment or remark, or the brushing of skin and hands. And then to think of how we complicate such a simple thing called love and run around our whole life in a maze searching for it, when it is just omni-present n residing in every heart around us. :)

Day 4. WAR Games. brutal. rough and a whole lot of foul play. I'm just gald my house had so much sportmanship. Then SP night. I was late for my ushering duties cos i took a pretty long time deciding wat to wear. Kinda vain n all but yeah thats just the way i am :P Didn't get to listen much to the SP games they played on stage cos the councillors were all stoning at the back of the dining hall. Then it was off to clubbing at paradigm. It was brilliant dancing from 11 all e way to 2am plus with my freshies, and they were really game on, considering for many of them it was their first clubbing experience. Had loads to drink too, courtesy of mayi n someone's SP *winks* which brought drinks for the entire group! I must say Gwen Stefani's n Black Eyed Peas' songs gives me an astonishing adrenaline rush. It morphs me into some sorta psychotic head banging goondu.

Day 5. Prize-giving, cheering, video presentations and briefings about other projects of Project 6. Lots of emotions n tears and sad songs sang(tongue twister here!). The entire thing ended by 4pm plus, after which Skylar went 2 harbourfront pasta mania for dinner. And then, i departed... with promises to meet up soon again for an outing. Seriously i can hardly wait.

To me, the camp was more than just a blast. Wat it was cannot be compressed to a few simple words. Nor was it just one heck of a ride, for the ride implies something that has stopped when clearly the journey has not. No words can describe the priceless memories, the friendships formed and the new spirit borne out in everyone's hearts.

To me, arts has never felt more like home.