.Beautiful Disaster.

ITs been pouring, pouring the entire evening...

Don't get me wrong, i've always loved rainy weathers. But the still of the night + rainy weathers is a totally different thing altogether. It makes u ponder n ponder until u almost go quite hysterical...okie that was an exaggeration.

well at least for me it does. :( and its a really melancholic feeling. i think i'm some kind of highly emotional being, which is not very healthy i guess.)

And to 'you guys'...I don't like being forced into doing things i have no motivation to do. And its not studies, but a part of my personal life. I don't like the feeling of being oblidged to go somewhere on a regular basis, do something when personally i'm not ready for it. I noe its probably wrong to say i'm being forced, but with all the sms bombardments, i feel really cornered and pressurized, and i'm not exactly liking that.

I need time and space to clear my thoughts. In many ways i think i'm a really rational person deep inside. I'm realistic. If ever there was a dilemna concerning matters of the heart or mind, 90% of times i'll let the head rule over my heart. Its just me, i'm conditioned into sorting things out in a practical fashion. And a major thing like this is not something i can accept readily and instantly. Moreover commitment is a long term one...i just need to do things my own pace, sort my thoughts out. And then maybe u'll see me, maybe u won't.

Exams are weeks away, and i haven't started revision. One more term paper to go before i start the mad dash. its so sick really...this education system. soemtimes i feel so choked by everything it piles down on me, though there are certain mods i genuinely have an interest for, like Gender...and perhaps to a certain extent, social thought/theory :D

This is one incoherent post, expressed by one incoherent mind, in the dead of the night. Give me the blanket, the bed, the stillness and the rain, and slumber please come take me away.